I had to take a hiatus….

I had to sit still and just breath.

So much going on so much surrounding me.

Almost could have made this post into a poem but I really need to release my feelings and if it rhymes at certain points, just charge it to my creativity.

The world has truly turned everyone’s, literally everyone’s, lives upside down. I don’t even think we are keeping up with the days anymore. I bet everyone will never take time for granted again. Hell, I myself am no longer taking life for granted.

If this quarantine and COVID-19 epidemic has taught me one thing it is that you must seize every damn moment and make every moment meaningful. Make every move you make count for something.

My Mother Dear use to always emphasize that we are on, “borrowed time.” It never made more sense to me than now.

I know folks truly have to face themselves every day since isolation. A lot of soul searching in the minds and hearts of many. I just hope folks are soul searching within instead of the typical blame parties we tend to put on when we don’t want to see how our own ways contribute to why we aren’t thriving, happy or successful.

This should truly be a period of inner self reflection. I’ve been meditating a lot more lately and reading chapters of various books. Having act out sessions with my sons in between their lessons. Reading my cards. Working out. And most importantly, writing the love of my life who is currently in the hole in a federal prison in Arkansas.

Just the thought of him being there in the midst of this pandemic and there’s nothing I can do to hear him consistently daily…. no words could ever describe how painful it is. Tear stings but I remain strong for him. He’d have it no other way.

Every time I’m seeing the mailman go across my lawn I’m running to the mailbox to check to see if there is a new letter. He’s probably never written so much in his life, ha! But he’s written 10 four to five page letters filled with love, strength and determination to get home to US. Our why’s. Our life. Our future.

That keeps me grounded.

Being an em-path and knowing that there are so many people that are suffering more from this epidemic and just day to day life in comparison to my life keeps me humbled and grateful. It could be so much more severe than it is. And I don’t take my blessings lightly. I make sure that I am giving back rather monetarily or spiritually.

My children are healthy, My Man is of sound mind, body and spirit and I am alive and still able to provide for my family. That is all I need. And the rest of my family is good and following the precautions set for us. That’s all I need and I’m so thankful to The Most High in this moment and forevermore.


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