Depression is a real pain in my ass. Like how do so many of us deal with it? I’m over it. I want it to go away. And the moment I think it is gone something triggers me back to the glooms.
It’s a never ending battle that I am sick of. I never feel like I am enough. Always feeling like I am not doing enough. Or that I am unworthy of love or success. I’m utterly tired.
Being in the midst of it and going through this pandemic, the ups and downs have been so sporadic and all over the place. I really miss my Husband. I Haven’t kissed or held him since January and the ramifications of that is really hurting, deeply.
I feel so alone and helpless and I know he feels the same and it’s nothing either of us can do about it.
Working Full Time, Being a Mom, Being an budding entrepreneur, being a creative, being a WOMAN, being a TEACHER now to FOUR children, look…. I’z tiad Boss. This has been a mentally and physically draining year.
I refuse to give up. There is a way! And this is how I’ve been getting through.
Meditation, Therapy and Massage Therapy. Add it to your routine, no need to thank me later.
You know, I don’t like talking about my battles with Depression but I figured now is the perfect time because I know that I’m not alone. I feel like the more we start having these honest conversations on our attempts at maintaining being “ok” but not really “ok”, the more other’s will feel comfortable sharing their own stories of defeating this “Silent Killer”.
I started “Morning Mantra’s”, a daily 30 minute guided mediation live on my Instagram page, not only for my followers to follow along with but, to also keep myself accountable on meditating daily.
https://instagram.com/hey_kilo?r=nametag
Meditation literally saved my life.
Just waking up earlier than everyone else and having that time to myself to just, “BE PRESENT” with myself is refreshing. Everything is still and you have no other choice but to look within, journal and set the schedule or checklist for that day in solitude.
In addition to meditation I make sure that I am as vocal as possible about my feelings to not only my Husband, Friends and Family but also my Therapist.
YES THERAPIST! Can we NORMALIZE THERAPY for crying out loud. I swear it’s the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. Being able to speak freely to someone without being looked at like I am Hannibal Lector. Or hear unwanted advice I didn’t ask for nor need.
Just to spill it out, BE HEARD, and given homework to reflect on so that I can gain a deeper level of understanding into myself that I may not have realized before. Need a local therapist suggestion, I see Dr. Tamela Ross, owner of The Healing Corner KC. (I’ll past Links at the bottom of the page.) She is phenomenal and has become more of a Mother/Sister to me since I’ve been seeing her. I will not cry writing this post. She has saved my life more than once. I am forever indebted.
And I mean, don’t we want to know deeper aspects of ourselves and our minds?
Which brings me to reading. Like they saying goes of, “You are what you eat.” Please apply that to the content that you indulge in. “You are what you read and seed.” Content is EVERYTHING. There is so much negative propaganda on Television and on Social Media. Sometimes social detoxing is AMAZING for our Mental Health Diet. (Yes you FEED YOUR MIND)
Make sure you are feeding it beneficial and uplifting SUBSTANCE more so now than EVER before ya’ll. I’ve been a reading “Your Invisible Power” by Genevieve Behrend and “The Mastery of Self” by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.. Two great reads that I think everyone should check out.
Another great go to is “The Four Agreements” by Ruiz as well. That book literally changed my life. I listen to the Audiobook at least once a month just to stay grounded and rooted throughout the month.
Content is everything. Reading is not only fundamental as they say but life altering, especially during high situations of anxiety and depression.
Self Care is a MUST right now. Precisely why I created my “Hey Kilo Cares” line so that we can get back into a consistent level of CARING FOR OURSELVES. We deserve that love and peace within more so now than ever before.
Take a nice long soothing bath. Light that candle/incense and set that ambiance, bask and scrub on your favorite scrubs and get that skin all silky smooth, rub on some shea butter and nourish that body right along with that mind and spirit. Smell good for YOU! Twist your hair, do your nails. Love on you so much more this Winter ya’ll. Indulge in some healthy tea to calm your spirits.
Me time is MANDATORY! Don’t let anyone guilt you away from investing in time to yourself. You deserve that love!
Massage Therapy is the best kept secret and my last tip for battling against depression. We don’t realize how much stress we store in the crevices of our bodies until we lay on that table and feel ourselves being popped like bubble wrap. I swear to GOD it is the best feeling in the world.
I’m not even going to lie at times it’s damn near orgasmic. Yes, I said it. Orgasmic. My neck and shoulders are always so wound up, as soon as my Mo’ pushes all you hear is Rice Krispy Treats homeboys, Snap, Crackle & Pop greet her!
Ya’ll screw jumping out a plane on your bucket list, get a damn massage! Ok best feeling in the world. And you have to get the stones. The STONES ARE EVERYTHING and just absorb all that negativity out of your spine. I’m getting warm all over it. Need a great Masssage Therapist please bless your little lives and see Monique Waters LMT owner of Massage Amani & Spa convieniently located at 7313 W 79th St, Overland Park, KS 66204. Let her know Kilo Sade sent ya!
No, I don’t get promo discounts or anything, it’s all love and all real. THEY ARE JUST THAT BOMB.
ANYTIME YOU CAN GET OUTSIDE AND GET SOME SUNLIGHT! STAY HYDRATED! Water yourselves! We are flowers too!
Last but not least love not only on you but on those around you. Times are trying and minds are on overdrive and I am even guilty of constantly overthinking. So, be easy on you and those that you love. I’ve been finding myself apologizing so often because of my attitude. And realizing a large part of it is the Winter, the Pandemic and the Holidays which are rougher this year with the isolation.
Be easy with yourself and your Husbands/Wives, Children and Friends. Be extra understanding and with them and yourselves.
I’m sending an abundance of Love & Light to you all and I’m wishing nothing but happiness and prosperity to you all. WE GOT THIS! We gon’ be alright!