I say this with love firmly.
Stop projecting your pain on to others just cause they unknowingly do something that triggers a negative reaction from you. That is not their, nor yours. It’s time to identify your triggers and heal them.
Or at least identify them so that you can learn to control your reaction.
Emotional triggers are something that you yourself need to sort out.
That starts with acknowledging the trigger reaction in the first place. Take accountability for it. Admit that it exist and be honest with yourself as to why it bothers you.
Most disagreements are always a misunderstanding of someone taking something the wrong way.
This is a major download for myself because I am often on the defense about EVERYTHING.
Rather it’s due to being passionate about things or being in past relationships where my mind and thoughts were undervalued, I get angry when I am questioned, ignored, or put off by someone else’s opinions.
I feel downtrodden and disrespected and I’m known at times to snap. I hate it.
I’m learning to breathe through these moments. Keyword learning, I’m not there yet. I’m trying hard as hell though.
I’m learning through identifying my triggers, that the creation of them is by an event that occurred either to me directly or what I witnessed.
For example. A partner of mine years ago use to ask me about certain women, to see if I knew them. Well he was asking because he was interested in them and ultimately cheated on me with the girls he was asking about.
That then created an issue for me. Anytime a guy I was with would ask me about another chick I’d instantly got defensive about it. Literally, “Why the f*ck do you want to know about her for?” I know someone out there feels me on this.
Yes, so just imagine for a moment a recent altercation you’ve had and you got upset with someone and they were left looking confused and baffled by your reaction. Think long and hard on what it was that was said and done.
Can you then take what mad you hella upset and sit with it to begin to peel off the layers as to why it angered you so much?
Can you pinpoint other situations where that same situation occurred and you reacted the same way? I bet you can!
Now ask yourself these questions; 1. Why is this situation still affecting me? 2. Why am I still emotionally impacted by this? 3. Do I feel there is any truth to what this feeling is creating in me? 4. Is it ok for me to let this emotional trauma & trigger go or, do I need time to work on this wound?
Be honest with yourselves on this. The only person you owe this to is you! This will ultimate help you move along your own journey.
Be easy with yourselves.
You are not obligated to rush through your healing for others. Healing is for you and you alone and absolutely EVERYONE in this vast World/ Universe is healing from something.
So don’t beat yourself up.
The first step is admission. Admitting that you still have things that you need to work on.
It’s ok not to be ok and don’t let anyone make you feel less than because you’re taking your time to heal. Be selfish with your healing process.
Identifying traumas and their emotional triggers is a very big step in deep diving and doing shadow work.
I send you love and and abundance of light during this journey! Remember to do your best every day. And if you slip up and snap out dont beat yourself up about it. Breathe, apologize, and try again tomorrow.
You got this.