I think it’s fine time we truly realize that yes you can have boundaries and love someone unconditionally. In fact, maybe it’s time that we love OURSELVES unconditionally enough to know who is and who ain’t for us.
We will unconditionally love all types of people and their behaviors except our own and to me that’s a problem.
Embrace absolutely every aspect of who you are. The good, the bad, and the ugly and be comfortable with you. Love you through it all no matter what.
To me when folks constantly overuse “unconditional love” it’s used an excuse for staying in unhealthy relationships and partnerships to their own expense.
Why we do that, I don’t know.
It’s OK to have healthy boundaries. It’s ok to put your foot down for your own peace of mind.
Unconditional love does not mean living without boundaries being set. It means that YES I love you and always will. However, this dynamic is not working for me in the way that it used to.
Unconditional love does not mean that compromising can’t occur. In order for healthy relationships to sustain you will NEED to compromise with each other and hear each other out from a place of said unconditional love.
We are all humans and we make mistakes. But we are also adults and we know the difference between an honest mistake and a repetitive behavior that just isn’t cutting it.
We have to be honest with ourselves. Some shit just ain’t meant to be. And the more you excuse a persons actions and behaviors at the expense of your peace they will continue to do it because they KNOW you’re not going to do a damn thing about it.
Does that sound cool to you? Does that feel good to you? Knowing that you’re allowing your “unconditional love” place you in an uncomfortable relationship.
Be REAL about your REAL-ationships.
Be honest with yourselves about what you want and how you want to be treated.
Sometimes we definitely have unreasonable demands or needs. Some maybe laced in insecurity and past trauma. Guess what? Be honest about that shit. Maybe you need to get you together before you attempt to love someone else. Love you enough to love someone as pure and freely as you desire to be.
Never use affection as a sense of control. This is something I’ve learned the hard way:
As well as loving someone so much that I became a walking doormat. That too is something I have learned the hard way.
We got to love ourselves just as unconditionally as we expect to love someone else and they to love us.
Don’t let that unconditional love Shìt have y’all out here looking foolish.