Having a debate with my Husband about the difference between guards and boundaries.
He’s like they are the same thing. I’m trying to explain why they aren’t.
A Guard is equipped with walls that we build around ourselves to protect us from getting hurt. We think they are protecting us when really they prevent us from truly feeling our way through life.
That’s why when shit happens, because shit is going to STILL happen cause we can’t control SHIT, people end up having overly emotional responses and blow things out of proportion.
Guards actually keep us from identifying our true selves. They block us from elevating and keep us complacent and confined.
They also prevent us from going within ourselves, being vulnerable, transparent, and honest with ourselves on who we are and what we want. We lie to ourselves when guards are present because we really aren’t feeling the emotions of shit. Just feeling what we have become accustomed to accepting through our guards.
BOUNDARIES are established once you do the INNER WORK WITHIN.
Letting go of trauma responses you have adapted to after facing your pain and triggers.
A great deal of healing and therapy helps you become more vulnerable with yourselves and honest with who you are, what it is you’re wanting, and what it is you require from love. (Self and from others)
From their you can create healthy boundaries, trust your own inner guidance system, and so on.
It sounds simple but it isn’t and it’s understandable why it all gets confused.
Boundaries and Guards are two different things though.
One is a front and the other is authenticity.
I get it though.
I had hella guards, hell I’m still working on some.