Doubt Will Cripple you

I think my greatest lesson in 2021 was releasing doubt from my mind.

Often times when we put our all into things we all want to feel like our work is valued. Seeing all those that you love support and believe in you is a breath of fresh air.

I had to learn the hard way that support, true support, will come from folks you wouldn’t even imagine and the ones that you love may not see the grand scheme of things until the notoriety blinds them. I’m not mad about it, that’s just, unfortunately, the way our people be.

I guess being from the “Show Me State” doesn’t make it any better. People want to see you make it before they support you not realizing that it’s their support and love that will help push you further.

Some believe it’s that “crab in the bucket mentality” and attempt to ridicule folks for not supporting them. Or hating on them. I’m going to say it’s a mixture of a lot of things. And for those things the MAIN OBJECTIVE WE SHOULD STRIVE FOR AS OWNERS is to NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY!!!!

Yes, some people maybe jealous of your attention.

Yes, some people may wonder why you and not them.

Yes, some folks may STILL be so caught up on how you USED TO BE and think you are fake and pray on your public downfall.

Guess what? You don’t need to worry about any of that. KEEP PUSHING FORWARD.

A positive mind is powerful.

Keep your mind clean, clear, focused on your own goals, and remain POSITIVE through it all.

What you vibrate is what you will attract.

I had to learn this the hard way in 2021.

When your mind is riddled with worry, worrying about losing people that you love, worried about making mistakes because TRUST ME no matter how good of a person you are you are human and you will make MISTAKES, you can’t afford to beat yourself up about it. All you can do is press forward, eliminate any stressors that attempt to cripple your positive mindset, and push through.

Keep doing the work you were designed to do.

The only person that you need to prove anything to is YOU. Fuck validation.

DO YOU!

One of my favorite books is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. The agreements are as follows:

(Direct sleeve exert)

1 Be Impeccable With Your Word

“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

I’m telling you now, this is something WE ALL NEED TO WORK ON. We are not perfect and sometimes our words will hurt someone even though it may be unintentional. Shit happens. I’ve learned that some of the main folks who can’t dish what they do struggle with this the hardest. However, at the end of every day, we are only responsible for ourselves. So, while we may struggle with being impeccable with our words, may fall short, don’t beat yourself up about it. If you feel like you need to apologize do so. If you feel you’ve said nothing wrong, stand on that but understand that the outcome or the other’s involved may not want to deal with you again and let them go in love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

I really don’t care how people feel about me. Yes, it may hurt at times when the shade and dissing comes from someone you love. But I don’t let it get in the way of the mission I was created to do here on Earth. What people say is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves. If you allow folks to project on you it will literally CRIPPLE YOU. It will pull so much DOUBT INTO YOUR MIND preventing you to walk within your truth. I struggled with this for a very VERY long time.

From friendships, to relationships, to even family. I remember I used to LOVE TO SING. My Mother and Grandmothers and Friends always used to hype me up about singing and rapping and it was due to another family member talking directly down to me about my singing voice in front of their friends that made me stop singing.

All it takes is one person to plant a seed of doubt in you to kill your dreams and dim your light. Don’t allow anyones self projections weigh heavy on your soul. Push through and allow your light to shine bright! Believe in yourself. You don’t need validation from a soul!

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”

This is the deal breaker. I have loss friends and family from this in two different ways. One was people assuming the worst of me instead of voicing their issues and their concerns directly to me. Over something so small. We have literally been at odds for over 2 years over nothing. You live and you learn. At the end of the day one conversation could have got to the root of their issue and all could have been well OR at least could have been addressed. I am a strong believer that with time all things heal.

Another is me being so direct that I voiced concerned with someone and they took it personally and the wrong way. We should all be able to come to folks asking for clarity without them beating you up about needing clarity. This is something I also struggle with so I apply grace to the situation. Sometimes it’s hard having boundaries laid down or someone telling you that you’ve offended them when it wasn’t your intention. Instead of lashing out at them, HEAR THEM OUT. This is a lesson of communication that I am still myself actively learning.

Using tact has helped a lot. Being silent and not wanting to always be correct has helped me even more. We aren’t always right and sometimes all we need to do is hear folks out.

4. Always Do Your Best

“Your best is going to change from moment to moments it will be different when you are healthy opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self judgement, self abuse, and regret.”

Ah, releasing doubt. The Four Agreements helped me with this. Understanding the law of attraction helped me with this. And I hope this blog provides you with clarity too.

Our minds are powerful. And we really can visualize and manifest the life we want to live.

Every day I do my best and my best maybe too much for some and absolutely everything to others. And I don’t worry about any of that.

I live for me. I do and say the things that I do out of love. Never to hurt anyone. If my words have hurt folks it was never my intentions. However, their thoughts or feelings about me will never stop nor hinder my destiny.

I push through the doubt of others because I BELIEVE IN ME!!!!!

Believe in yourselves no matter what!

Release self doubt ESPECIALLY if it is attached to the resentments and doubt coming from others. Release their hold from you. Cut those cords. Unfollow them. Unfriend them. Do what you have to do to maintain your peace of mind.

Published by Kilo Sade

Herbalist, Creator, & Intentional Wellness Influencer. Wife, Mom, Healer, and Creator.

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