Black Men hurt deeply.
And we really make it hard for them to let their guards down.
I understand that we all deal with shit and have a lot of shit on our shoulders but we got to take into account the traumatic pains that Black Men deal with on daily and don’t know how to release or express.
Black Women, yes we go through A LOT OF shit too but we can lean more on each other and it’s easier for us to find solace in one another. To go to our Mothers and be heard.
Men don’t have that option and if they do it’s typically to their Mothers or Grandmothers, maybe a Father if he is present or an old G. But that’s all seldom. They mostly sit with it and bottle a lot of shit up because society doesn’t make it acceptable for black men to be vulnerable. It makes them feel weak. We got to dead that: we got to start hearing them out without saying shit.
Let them talk it out. You may not agree cause God knows I don’t be agreeing with a lot but I’m a firm believer to get to a middle ground you got to hear some shit you don’t want to hear. You got to hear the shit that don’t make sense. That’s how you find the solution, when you observe it all from a birds eye view.
A major part of Shadow work I had to go through was learning how to be silent and be still. Stop fighting so hard to be heard and to truly listen. Basically to shut up. And I still struggle with it.
One thing that helped me was realizing that we are not in battle. I remember this any time I feel old habits kick in. Me wanting to argue my point: me wanting to check something. I am actively practicing this with my Husband and my Sons
I’m not perfect. I falter but every damn day I am pushing through the trigger responses I have adapted to from traumatic experiences in my life so that I am not continuing on the tradition of trauma from Man, Woman, to child.
It ends with me.
I’m becoming better so that they are better men.
Ladies it starts with us. We really are the beacons of our homes. Like our men, we have pride issues too.
Sometimes there comes a time where no one needs to be right and we need to just listen. Listen to understand and not to respond or refute.
Listen to find a solution not to add to the pain.