Dear Mama

My Mama

This world really didn’t deserve you Mama.

At all.

You were too pure for it that’s why it tried to break you every chance that it could and it never did.

You were the strongest Woman I know.

Couldn’t no one begin to understand the amount of pain you lived with. Diagnosed with Sickle Cell Anemia as a toddler. Told you wouldn’t survive to 10. You made it. They said you wouldn’t live past 18. You did. They said you’d never have kids and you did. 2.

You were a conqueror. Despite all the pain and trauma you endured you were still standing. No one can take that from you.

Just knowing how much pain you lived with is the only way I am able to find some solace in all of this. No more hospital visits, blood transfusions, dialysis, no more heartache, no more pain. That’s the only peace I find in any of this.

It’ll never be ok knowing how you were taken from us. I never will be ok with that.

You didn’t deserve that at all. Anyone who knew my Mama knew that she never met a stranger. She was really an amazing person that tried so hard to fit into this fucked up world. She had a light in her that would light up a room.

Her energy was one of a kind. She was beautiful even when she was moody or had an attitude. She’d give the clothes off her back to a stranger like for real. Man my Mama have so much of her clothes and coats knowing she needed the stuff but would do it all from the kindness of her heart and would always say, “that’s just material stuff I’ll get that back and I can’t take it with me when I’m gone.”

Now she and I would fight over clothes and I want that shit back. Lol I miss those arguments. “Stay out my shit Ke!” Lol “You got my pencil skirt?!” Lmao I still got that pencil skirt Mama. 😭😭😭😭

Never closed a door on anyone or her heart no matter how many times someone hurt or did her wrong. If she loved you she loved you forever.

This shit hurts. 8 years later. It’ll hurt until I’m with her again.

I may not be ok but I’ll always be alright. I got too many watching over me.

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