I’ve now come to the conclusion that the key or answer to life is to just live.
Not just utter or type out the words of “living” or “just being” or “feeling free” but literally just living. Just living your life without worrying or pondering how your life looks to others.
The past two years of my life has been such a soul awakening experience from a sense of seeing my ego and how my ego played such a major role in my complacency. Or better yet, my ego was the main cause of a lot of self inflicted anguish that I put myself through or even allowed myself to deal with.
Learning to love my ego helped me to learn how to apply grace to not only just myself but to others. This is something I’m still actively under/innerstanding. I get so much as to why we humans, are the way that we are though. We are all so conflicted at times.
Instead of just trusting our own feelings, thoughts, hell ourselves, we look constantly outside of our own capable being for answers or solutions from other people who truly don’t know who they are. It’s like that song that they sang by I believe the Temptations on “Sister Act”, “Ball of Confusion.” We literally go in circles, unnecessarily. Trying to find solutions to problems we already know the answers to.
This was me the last past year of my life. Already coming to where I was. I stopped asking for advice this year. Which is an amazing feat. Not because I didn’t want anyone in my business, surprisingly, my life is so much at a space of bliss even through trying times that I wouldn’t mind if folks had a look on the inside.
My Husband and I are at a space of just growth and development not only individually but also together as one. And it’s beautiful. I’ve never felt a love that’s so pure and understanding like this. I refuse to take it for granted.
Our children are growing and thriving and harnessing their skills. It’s crazy because I wanted to go back to school for so long, went, damn near had a brain aneurysm for overthinking it, then dropped out and now we are pushing into our babies and watching their dreams manifest.
I’ve removed myself from social media without, for the first time, having to deactivate anything. I’ve been addicted to social media for years as an escape, as entertainment, as a means to communicate, to even promote my business. Now, I’m letting it go. I didn’t even have to delete the apps off of my phone. Even though now that I think about it, that might add more space.
In 2022 I’m choosing myself and our little family. Like you really don’t realize how much is changing around you when you lack awareness because you’re so transfixed on scrolling throughout the day. I was hanging with the big boys yesterday and Micah was asking me to shave a part on his legs where the hair was bothering him where his socks are. And I’m like, shave? Why? And I look down and he has hair on his legs!!!! I’m like, “OMG SON YOU HAVE HAIR ON YOUR LEGS!!!!” In the middle of TMobile and folks were looking at me like I lost my mind.
But it’s these simple little things that I been missing because my heads been down or in the clouds. Speaking of which let’s talk about daydreaming!
Letting go of daydreaming and actively moving has been such a reward. This past weekend I got SOOOO MUCH in the house done as far as Spring Cleaning. I’m still actively making my way to cleaning up the website too. But man, I got the entire house done. Still working on laundry and stuff and should be done by this evening. I mean I even folded everything coming out the dryer!
I’ve been lowkey big girl adulting now days.
I definitely need to get the crystals added to the website and the rest of the herbs and I guarantee that is on my weekend todo list. And the crystals I’m soooo hype about them. My journey back into my spirituality started with a stone gifted after my Mom was murdered. I’ve been blessed by them them and herbs every since.
I have a dope variety coming to the website and can’t wait to go dig for my own this Summer.
Life now is all about making memories. Living. Loving.
I can’t wait until my Husband is home. It’s like my body and spirit feel him coming home soon even more now than I ever felt before.
Everything that happened these past two years was necessary for me to make changes within that I would have never realized needed to be reviewed. I’m grateful.