Imposter Syndrome is real. We literally allow ourselves to psych ourselves out of the very thing that we can talk about effortlessly all because our minds will have us believe we are not equip enough to talk about what we are very well versed in.
There are so many, including myself, that struggle with this. We sit and wait constantly telling ourselves we need more time to study, or more time to grasp a concept, or more time to make something that folks will love, or more time feeling super lackluster re-wrapping a pendant that just doesn’t look decent enough to exhibit.
We then start to see our own visualizations become reality for other’s who maybe doing the very thing you were thinking in the exact same way you were thinking was not ready for you to launch. And they are doing it and they are SU-FUCK-ING-CCEEDING with it!!!! Now you’re back to the drawing board feeling more down because the one thing you felt was going to make it MADE it and you feel robbed and like you have nothing.
This is the story all about how your life got flipped turned upside down because you DIDN’T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
Constantly telling yourself that you were not perfect enough to do what you love to fucking do.
What is perfection really and what does it mean to you?
This is what I had to ask myself first thing this morning. What the hell is perfection anyway?
Aren’t we already perfectly imperfect? By the way Elle Varner’s “Perfectly Imperfect” album is so got damn perfect and will be the soundtrack for today ya’ll. Anyhoots, aren’t we already perfectly imperfect? Don’t we type out that little cute caption every now and then when we be feeling ourselves on cute photos but want to appear humble enough to let folks know, “Why yes my edges are laid to the God’s but I still have a little attitude here and there but that’s alright, I’m perfectly imperfect.”
So why feeling this do we strive so hard for perfection that we know may never come or that we already possess because even in our imperfections we are already perfect.
One thing I said to myself this morning is, Kilo think of the things that give you joy that you can talk about ALL DAY LONG without stumbling over words or feeling self consciously about.
I realized that’s pretty much every damn thing that interest me. From hair, music, movies, serial killer trivia/true crime (judge yourselves), HEALING, herbs, crystals (I’m forever learning about new ones and even more info about ones I love and know), family, love, mental health, trauma, raising a Gemini (it’s hell ya’ll pray for me), and just living life authentically.
So, why did I ever feel self conscious about public speaking or recording a damn youtube video? Or going live on Facebook? Like why do these things bother me soooo much and why do I feel like I’m not ready or not presentable to do this?
Then it hit me all at once mid toothbrush stroke…. It’s my mind playing tricks on me. I looked in the mirror and I said, “NOT TODAY!” Today I am Arya MUTHERFUCKING Stark and I am a badass and tonight when I lay down I’m going to start planning for next seasons podcast and I’m going to start reaching out to others for interviews and this shit’s going to be recorded in studio and at this point I’m ready to get a manager to help me plan this shit because I’m ready to take “Tea with Ki” and my blog to the level that I know it’s capable of going!
I have pushed so much light into people that are FLOURISHING it’s time I shed that same light on to me.
I already know that I want to continue doing EVERYTHING that I am currently doing so guess what? I have to start delegating some of my task off so that I can do the other things that I am interested in doing.
I am going to need to find someone that I can trust with my recipes to make bulk products for me. A manufacturer. (By contract and clauses of course.)
I want to solely focus on speaking, writing, and teaching folks about herbs, crystals, balance, intentional wellness, and showing kids how to take their pain and put it into a creation! Little DIY’s courses for kids. So, if you know of any places that I can volunteer my time for free to teach kids arts and crafts let me know. I’m ready to volunteer a few hours a month and I can bring supplies if need be.
I just want to do my part.
I’m ready to get my feet on the ground and go! The only way I can show how healing, living intentionally, and being my most authentic self has changed my life is to just BE VISIBLE in my community. I’m ready.
I have so many ideas and the Universe, homeboy/homegirl, you ain’t got to worry about me sitting to long on ANTYTHING anymore!
Waiting on perfection, for what?
I’m already that plus some!