The book, “Deep Work” by Cal Newport literally has changed my life.

Lately I’ve been feeling boxed in and incapable of connecting deeply with myself. This in case has caused me to not want to be bothered with anyone. I have to go within myself and reconnect WITH ME. Without the expectations of the World or the people around me.

I have to do this for me. I have goals that I really want to accomplish, and I can’t do that worrying about everyone else and their needs. I have serious goals that need my attention.

I don’t think people take into account how hard it is to be a Wife, a mother of 4, a business owner who makes everything by hand, and someone who works a 9 to 5 and actually enjoys what they do! I do it all on my own. In addition to that I’m back doing hair part time just to make ends meet. It’s a lot and I’m working my ass off.

I recently got promoted at work into a field that I know will catapult me in places that will open many doors. I cannot afford to be down or distracted.

Listening to this book really opened my eyes to the art of DEEP WORK.

Discipline is something that I lack when it comes to distractions. It’s no secret that I’ve been addicted to social media. I’ve mentioned it quite a few times within my blogs. And yes, I’m still struggling with it. Recently I’ve been identifying the trigger associated with my addiction and I’ve realized that it’s my desire to be heard and understood.

Finding likeminded people who hear my words and understand me. In my personal life, I’ve always struggled connecting with those around me. Or more so, I struggled with being heard and understood. On social media I can say what I want to say and not have to hear a rebuttal or be cut off when I’m speaking.

Yes, some folks could disagree, but it’s easy to eliminate their opinion with a simple and swift, delete.

However, in my personal connections, this creates tension and issues because I am distracted by the need to post or scroll.

It’s gotten better with frequent stints in Facebook jail and the irritation of content planning. I absolutely love creating content I just hate posting it and how tedious it all is. Which is crazy right, I own a product-based business that requires the content.

I’m realizing that I struggle with communication. I struggle with being heard and I struggle with listening. I lack patience with those closest to me. There are times where I just want to be to myself. I spend those times sleep or zoning out instead of being productive. I have to confront and speak power into these feelings and not feel ashamed about them because it’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time alone to myself.

To do the things that make me happy and at peace.

Doesn’t mean I love anyone any less, but I need these moments of serenity to gain equilibrium and clarity.

This book helped me realize that some of the greatest thinker of and before our time required these moments and consistently had them. It was during these moments that they created artwork, programs, inventions, and so much more.

I’m a great thinker of my time. And I too need these moments.

How can I be better for others if I don’t even have the time nor space to be better to myself?

This also helps me put what’s more important and priority in my life. Building connections with strangers? Or repairing, building, and strengthening relationships that are closest to me that I truly love. By being more present in their lives and fully showing up as I am.

I’m looking forward to implementing this work into my schedule. Starting today I deleted ALL SOCIAL MEDIA APPS OFF OF MY PHONE!

My goal is to blog more, write more of my book, create content to post automatically, and spend more time meditating, reading, as well as spend more time with my family.

Balancing Acts